The World Needs Library Simulator

I’m a big fan of escaping reality and where better to do that than in VR? Not only can you immerse yourself in another world, you can choose to be anything you want (Goat Simulator), work any job you want (Garbage Truck Simulator), and date the hunky man of your dreams (Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator).

So I ask myself, why not have a Library Simulator?

In this game, you could:

  • Learn the┬áDewey Decimal system.
  • Replace books on shelves.
  • Help visitors find the perfect title for their bookish needs.
  • Scan books for visitors to check out.
  • Create beautiful displays.
  • Read short stories and decide if they go or stay.
  • Attach your Goodreads account and browse actual titles, add them to your TBR, and recommend to others (not fishing for sponsors or anything).

You could even pick different settings: A brightly-lit, ultra modern library with lots of wasted space. An Inner city library with bars on the window (there’s only the one) and an armed security guard. Personally, I would prefer to lord over a more traditional library with polished mahogany shelves, antique tapestries, and candle sconces. This could even add to the excitement–if someone tips over a candle, everything burns!

As if that wasn’t already intensely┬átitillating, here’s where it gets really fun:

  • If people don’t heed your shushes and stern looks, you can stab them in the neck with your Pen of Righteous Discipline.
  • If someone bends the spine of a book, you get to break or remove theirs.

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  • If someone smuggles in food and drink, you get to stuff it down their throat until they choke.
  • If someone dog-ears a page, you get to put a slit in their ear. After, say, two offenses, they lose the ear. And their library card.
  • If someone attempts to steal a book, well, we’ll let them live because who can resist a good book?

Let us not forget story time, children!