Eight Days of Heat Frustration

As I endure this admittedly mild Minnesota winter, I recall last year’s summer vacation, where I spent a week melting my face off in Orlando with my boyfriend (we’ll call him Jerry) and his family. We went in August, which is, in all honesty, the best time to travel to Florida. Any travel guide worth their salt will tell you so.

Day One: Sunday

We arrive at the airport and pick out our rental car. I push for the Camaro, the Mustang, the Charger, the Corvette.

In an Impala, we drive to Jerry’s uncle’s for a quiet, relaxing dinner.

Over fifteen cars are parked in the driveway and along the street. As we slowly clamber out of the car, wondering if we have the right house, a man in a pickup with Alabama license plates jumps the curb and parks on the yard.

We tentatively walk in the house and are bombarded by family we haven’t seen in years. My social anxiety kicks in, but I smell food so I endure.

Because we haven’t had a bite to eat all day, Jerry and I stare longingly at trays of egg rolls, fried rice, and kebabs of lemongrass pork. One aunt tells us to dig in, two other aunts shoo us away, making us wait for the toast.

The toast? I wonder.

That’s when I notice the women in dresses. The men in suits. The cake. The flowers.

In horror, I realize I’ve walked into My Big, Fat Vietnamese Wedding.

The rest of the night is spent stuffing my face in the living room, hoping I don’t stink too much in my stale traveling clothes, and trying to stay awake because humans suck the life out of me.

Day Two: Monday

We drive through a sudden downpour to buy an umbrella at Target.

I’m coerced into doing this. Note: I’m the one laughing her ass off and yelling, “wee” while the other screams in terror.

I have so much fun, I make her go a second time. Note: Her screams are just as shrill and terrified. My laugh is just as maniacal.

Day Three: Tuesday

We go to Daytona Beach. Our practical little Impala holds five, but as more of Jerry’s family arrives, our number increases to six. Four of us try to squeeze into the backseat and, though we are small people, I end up sitting on the floor, praying that we don’t end up in an accident or that a police officer doesn’t spot me looking like a disgruntled pet sitting at my boyfriend’s feet.

At the beach, the water is cold and the waves are rough. I do not go in past my waist because of sharks and jellyfish and riptides and, for all I know, alligators. Though I love to be in the water, being a Midwesterner who has only seen the ocean a handful of times, I am terrified of it. It’s, like, really big or something.

I’m too busy staring at the ocean’s vastness to notice the wall of black clouds that has gathered behind me. Naturally, it isn’t until after I change out of my swimsuit that I feel a drop. And another. And then it starts coming down sideways. Jerry and I make a mad dash for the car, leaving the rest of the family to finish packing tents and chairs and the kitchen sink.

His mother grabs her purse from the backseat and rides off with an aunt so I don’t have to sit on the floor again. It isn’t long before we realize she has the keys.

Trapped in the hot and sticky car with Jerry’s younger siblings, we watch from behind fogged windows as the rest of the family struggles to leave.

A cousin’s car needs a jump start.

An uncle’s rental car takes a nose-dive into the soft white sand and has to be dug out.

The Target umbrella remains dry at the house.

Day Four: Wednesday

I experience all of the feels at Hogsmeade. A Death Eater wand chooses me at Ollivanders. I buy a chocolate frog and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans at Honeydukes. Over a Butter Beer, I try to convince Jerry that I’m a Slytherin. He tells me I’m a Hufflepuff. Vehemently, I hiss, “I eat Hufflepuffs for breakfast!”

As the day progresses, my upper lip begins to feel swollen. Everything, everything, begins to itch. By the end of the day, my face throbs and there’s not a spot on my body that hasn’t turned mottled and bubbly. The culprit? The new sunblock I bought to replace the one I lost in the chaos at the beach the day before.

To make matters worse, my clothes cling to me from the sudden downpours and humidity you can swim through.

The Target umbrella remains dry in the car.

Day Five: Thursday

We use this day to recover. My swollen hands and feet ache. I develop a cough and lose my voice. I fear I’ve caught pneumonia from one of Jerry’s family members, who has been hacking up a lung since the day we arrived. I drug myself, mutter incoherent babble, and sleep most of the day.

At midnight, I wake and have a mental breakdown. I’m hungry and sore and I’m sick of people. I take a walk and chase after tiny lizards. When I’m about to start swinging, I force Jerry to drive me to Taco Bell.

I eat the best damn chalupa I’ve ever had. The fast food, which I had been suffering withdrawals from, soothes me. The murderous rage subsides.

Day Six: Friday

We visit the Kennedy Space Center. I spend most of the time feeling like an insignificant speck because space is, like, huge or something. I watch Jerry marvel at all the science and shit.

It is the one day that doesn’t rain.

The Target umbrella remains dry in my purse.

Day Seven: Saturday

I survive another day of family reunions and engorge myself on pho, which I had been anticipating for weeks. It is amazing and fills my soul–or, rather, makes me feel like I have one.

We pack for the early morning flight. I have to shake my belongings out to uproot the colony of tiny ants that have taken up residence in our room and have been biting us all week. Earlier in the week, we shared the floor with these little devils until we stole an air-mattress from Jerry’s younger siblings. Sometimes being high maintenance and vocal pays off.

There are hugs and heartfelt goodbyes. My farewells are perhaps the most eagerly spoken.

Day Eight: Sunday

Our plane arrives in Minneapolis. After a somewhat awkward car ride with my dad and Jerry’s family, we arrive at home.

My dog wets himself in excitement and nearly wheezes to death.

My mom “accidentally” breaks my Kennedy Space Center souvenir.

My brother steals my Gryffindor keychain.

I get White Castle’s for breakfast and cannot be happier to be home.


January in Review

My goals for 2017 are simple. Workout more, write more, read more. I bought a Fitbit and have been habitually walking in circles to reach my step goals. I posted an unrealistic to-do list above my desk (I intend to write four rough drafts and do at least two rounds of revision each.) And I hope to read 100 books. Last year I read 84, which is the most I’ve ever read in a year.

January Reviews:

The Winner’s Curse – Marie Rutkoski

On a whim, Kestrel purchases a young slave, drawn to his rebellious nature and affinity for music. Her actions set in motion a rebellion by the people her father helped conquer.

I kept seeing this one on Goodreads and in my Twitter feed, but I ignored it because I despised the cover. It doesn’t match the tone of the novel at all  and the paperback versions are even worse. Kestrel is a pacifist who enjoys music. She’s not a natural fighter, certainly, and she refuses to become the soldier her father wants her to be, but she’s a strategist. She’s not some swooning dolt with crimped hair!

While I wouldn’t say it’s a favorite (I’m being more stingy lately with doling out five stars), I read it in one sitting and immediately purchased the second and third books.

The second book, The Winner’s Crime was good, but not nearly as compelling as the first, which is unfortunately why I haven’t dived into the third book.


Between Shades of Gray – Ruta Sepetys

Set in 1941, Lina, a fifteen-year-old from Lithuania, and her family are arrested by Soviets and sent to a labor camp in Siberia.

Prepare to get wrecked. It’s not a pleasant read, but it is a necessary one. I never really learned what happened in Russia during WWII. I had only a vague idea who Stalin was. In class, they focus so much on the holocaust and Hitler that you don’t really learn much about the atrocities that occurred in Russia.

The cruelty is unbelievable. I simply cannot fathom the hatred you would have to feel for someone, or a group of someones, to treat them like this.

I highly recommend the book. I read it in one sitting. It has a semi-happy ending (by which I mean the characters I liked didn’t starve to death), so just try to power through until then.

Passenger – Alexandra Bracken 

Etta journeys across centuries and continents with Nicholas, a “legal” pirate, in order to save her mother. 

It took me a while to get into the story. I didn’t immediately click with Etta but, once we boarded Nicholas’s ship, I was hooked (no pun intended?). However, somewhere along the journey, I started to lose interest. It felt like the author was trying to shove a politically correct agenda down my throat. I understand that now more than ever we need stories with diverse characters (I loved that Nicholas was African-American), but the way she went about it at times felt like an author intrusion or lecture.

Etta is irritated in 18th century America because of the treatment women receive and the clothing they have to wear. She is very vocal and defiant about it. But when she travels to Damascus in the 16th century, she has very little to say about how they treat women and how they are dressed. She is very respectful of their culture. It felt like a double standard. Also, while in Damascus, Etta is kidnapped. Her kidnapper orders one of the hired men to ride on the same horse as Etta. Touching a woman who is not his wife or his kin is against this man’s beliefs. Etta says to her kidnapper something along the lines of, “Well, you shouldn’t have put him in that situation in the first place. That wasn’t very nice.”

And I just thought, who gives a damn about this man and his beliefs? He’s holding you hostage. While I may be a liberal, my tolerance for others and their beliefs only goes so far.

Overall, I want to know what happens next, but I’m not inclined to rush out and grab the sequel Wayfarer. I’ll get to it eventually. Maybe.

The Name of the Wind – Patrick Rothfuss

Kvothe recounts the events that led him to become the most notorious wizard of his time. It takes him three days to tell his story. This is day one. 

I heard so many good things about this story, but I had been hesitant to read it because its thick, for one, and I’ve been trying to read quantity lately over quality. And second, when people gush about something, it immediately turns me off.

Ah, but I’m glad I finally read it. Rothfuss certainly knows how to string a sentence together. It’s not overly bloody or dark, but there is a magical, lyrical quality to it that I enjoyed. I loved the academic setting. I’m hesitant to begin reading the second book, though, since the third one hasn’t been published and I have no idea when it will be.

This is a must-read for fantasy fans. Five stars!

Additional Recommendations:

I stopped blogging at the end of last year because I’m lazy. But there are some books I read during that time that I want to recommend because they’re friggin’ awesome.

Across The Universe – Beth Revis

The spaceship Godspeed’s mission is to travel three hundred years across the universe to colonize the planet Centauri-Earth. Amy, a frozen passenger, is awakened fifty years too early. She and the ship’s second-in-command, Elder, must race to find her would-be killer.

So many secrets. So many plot twists and mysteries and unveilings. The entire trilogy keeps you guessing. Just when you think you have a handle on what’s going on, the rug is ripped out from under you.





Falling Kingdoms – Morgan Rhodes 

The three kingdoms of Mytica grapple for power as magic, once drained from the world and long forgotten, emerges in the form of a sorceress and four elemental Kindreds. 

This. series. rocked. my. world. All for one reason–Magnus. My dark, brooding, sarcastic prince. I even overlooked his unnatural attraction to his sister. Ahhh, he’s so dreamy. The tension between him and Cleo throughout the first four books kills me.

I devoured this series within a week. I’m both irritated with myself for leaving Falling Kingdoms to sit unread on my shelf for years, but also kind of glad. It meant I didn’t have to wait a year in between each book. But now that I’ve read the most recent, Crystal Storm, I have to wait another year. Naturally, the ending for the fifth book is the most cruel cliffhanger I have ever read and I CAN’T DEAL.

I’m shaking with frustration.

Wolf by Wolf – Ryan Graudin

Yael’s skinshifting abilities are the result of Nazi experimentation during her time as a death camp prisoner. Using her ability to change faces, she enters the Axis Tour, a motorcycle race from Germany to Tokyo that commemorates the Axis Powers’ victory. Her mission: kill Hitler. 

Wow, where do I start. This was a wonderfully written, furiously paced novel with rich characters you can’t help but love. The sequel, Blood for Blood ripped out my heart, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it with its steel-toed Nazi boots. I just. I can’t. I will never get over it.

This is one of those books that I still think about months later. Just to get more of her writing, I purchased Graudin’s The Walled City.

This Month’s Haul:

I received loads of gift cards for Christmas and I still, if you can believe it, haven’t used them all. I’m trying to expand my reading horizons by branching into new genres.

Do you know how hard it is to get a decent picture in my dungeon of a home?

What did you read in January?


When Your Books Shame You

Every month, after I post brief reviews of the novels I’ve read, I share a picture of the books I bought that month. My highest record so far is seventeen. The average is about ten. I can only read five to eight books in a month, which means my unread shelves are piling up.

In my many poor attempts to curb my book buying addiction, and it seriously is an addiction, I have embarked on the craziest idea yet. One that makes my heart stutter. One that has the OCD part of my brain physically cringing.

Behold, the horror:


Yes, dear readers, I have flipped my 385 unread books so the spines face inward.

I can almost hear them saying, “Hmph. We’re just not important enough to you, are we?”

To which I reply, “It’s not you. It’s me. I want to read you, of course I do, I just don’t have the time.”

“You’ve gotta make time.”

“Honey, don’t be like–.” Okay, maybe I don’t talk to my books (much), but I do rub their spines reassuringly and now I can’t even do that. I’d fondle the pages, but I fear they’d give me a paper cut out of spite.

Books can be so passive-aggressive, can’t they?

I got the idea off a picture I’d seen on Buzzfeed. The woman turned the books she’d read around so that she’d easily be able to pick out the ones she hadn’t read. This would get her reading novels that she had purchased a while ago and had maybe forgotten about.

I decided to change it up a bit and turn around the ones I haven’t read. Sure, it makes it a little harder to locate them (jk, not really; I have my shelves all memorized) but when I did this, it really became apparent that I buy books way faster than I can read them.

When I do finish a book, it’s like a little treat being able to turn it back around. If I ever get closer to my goal of having read 90% of my books (currently at 57%), I can switch them all around so they can be admired in all their glory.

On the other hand, some books have beautiful pages. I Am Number Four says, “Lorien Legacies.” Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom  have black and red edges respectively.

Don’t even get me started with the books that have ragged edges. Oh, how they get my heart a-flutterin’.

My only worry is that I better get through them quickly before the exposed pages begin to yellow from exposure to light. Egad!

Do you have too many unread books? Or are you someone with willpower who realizes they are not a high roller with infinite funds?


6 Horror Books to Read in October

When it comes to Halloween, I’m stuck in an awkward phase. I’m too old to trick-or-treat. I don’t have friends who throw parties. And answering the door terrifies me, especially when there are hordes of drooling, bloodied children clawing at me. I don’t really know what to do with myself besides curl up in front of the fire and read a scary book.

Below are a few books I plan on reading in October.

Doll Bones – Holly Black

I’m a huge fan of Holly Black, so I am excited to read this story about a doll created from the ground-up bones of a murdered girl. The doll haunts a group of children, demanding they bury her where she lived when she was alive lest they be cursed for all eternity.

Shallow Graves – Kali Wallace 

Breezy wakes in her grave with no idea who killed her. She claws her way out and enters a gritty, terrifying world where she can sense those around her who are hiding a murdering past.

Silence of the Lambs – Thomas Harris

You guys should know this one. I finally watched the movie two years ago and afterward ended up dreaming that my grandma had decapitated her best friend, skinned her face, and turned it into a slipper. Much excite for the book!

The Forest of Hands and Teeth – Carrie Ryan 

A fence protects Mary’s village from the Forest of Hands and Teeth. Until it’s breached. And then ZOMBIES. Blood. Guts. Braaains.

Bird Box – Josh Malerman

No one knows what it is, but one glimpse of it will drive a person to violence. It left in its wake a ravaged world, one where Malorie still hopes to find a safe place for her and her two young children. Blindfolded, the three of them set out downriver with nothing to rely on but their hearing. And something is following them.

The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe 

You can’t go wrong with the classics. I hope to read a different poem or short story each night.

What do you do on Halloween? What scary books do you recommend?

September Reviews

The Golem and the Jinni – Helene Wecker

The Golem is created to be an obedient wife. When her master dies, she must find her own way as a Jewish immigrant in 19th century New York. Meanwhile, in Little Syria, the Jinni is released from a flask after 1,000 years and must find a way to free himself from his human form. 

I quite liked this book. It wasn’t a fast-paced read, but it had me turning the page to learn more. Wecker did a great job weaving the different stories together, and there’s something to be learned from the two main characters–the Golem, who tries so hard to learn and conform to society, and the Jinni, who doesn’t give a damn what humans think.

I would recommend this to anyone interested in Jewish and Arabian folklore. Or anyone who’s looking for the same magical quality as in The Night Circus. 

Unravel Me (Shatter Me #2)– Tahereh Mafi

War with The Reestablishment approaches and Juliette struggles to find her place in the resistance where she is still feared for her dangerous power. 

Juliette is aptly named. She’s so dramatic. Like, I understand teenagers are like that (even though I never was, of course), but holy balls, get over yourself. I agree with her friend Kenji, who just tells her to shut the shit up and quit being such an insufferable pity party.

Who cares if your touch kills everyone? You gotta own that, gurlfriend! Her powers are wasted on her.

And Oh. My. God. The reveals! Warner, I love you! *fangirl scream*froths from mouth*

A Torch Against the Night (An Ember in the Ashes #2)Sabaa Tahir 

Laia and Elias begin their pursuit to rescue Laia’s older brother from prison. Meanwhile, the Emperor’s new  Blood Shrike, Helene, is ordered to hunt down and kill Elias, her best friend and the boy she loves. 

I read this in only a few hours–just as quickly as I devoured the first book. Because my favorite characters tend to be of the male persuasion, it’s surprising my favorite in this series is Helene. She starts out as a badass–the only female Mask besides the sadistic Commandant (and Elias’s mother)–but as she begins her role as Blood Shrike, she becomes more and more complex. I can’t wait to see how much of a broken, tortured soul she becomes in the next book.



The Frog Prince – Jenni James

Prince Nolan turns himself into a frog to spy on his betrothed, to see if she is the spoiled princess he thinks she is. 

This is a very short novella that I had downloaded for free. It’s marketed as “clean” romance for teens, which means it has teenage characters who have the mental capacity and innocence of a nine-year-old. Nay, I think nine-year-olds have filthier minds. I have no problem with something being “clean,” although I think it’s silly, but I do have a problem with there being no sort of humor or danger or anything thrilling.

I also have an issue with things just happening. We don’t see how he transforms into a frog, but are told that he visits someone who turns him into one. So very telly. Him turning into a frog should be an exciting moment.

I would recommend this to the overly conservative.

Six of Crows – Leigh Bardugo

Led by criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker, six outcasts attempt to pull off an impossible heist. 

I liked Bardugo’s Grisha trilogy, but I LOVE this duology that takes place a few years after the events of the original trilogy. Her writing is stronger and these characters are so much more complex and interesting (probably because they’re all criminals), although I still have a special place in my heart for the Darkling and Prince Nikolai.

I am so super stoked for the next book. And if you haven’t taken a look at the physical copy of Six of Crows, do so. The edges of its pages are BLACK! And the sequel’s pages are RED and they’re GORGEOUS!

Can you just hear me SCREAMING at you to read this?

The Glass Arrow – Kristen Simmons

Aya lives in a world where women are bought and sold for their breeding rights. Her mother has kept her hidden in the wilds of the mountain, but when Trackers capture Aya, she is groomed to be auctioned. She will stop at nothing to escape and return to her family.

You could say The Glass Arrow is a YA Sci-Fi version of Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale. And just like Atwood’s story, it is truly disturbing. Women are used again and again for breeding until they are cast off. Few make it to middle age. Few even make it past birth because they destroy their girl babies.

I mean, they can’t even read. How insanely horrible is that?

Despite all that, there is some humor in the story and the MC, Aya, is such a snarky hellion, you can’t help but love her.

I would recommend this to the feminist in you.

This month’s acquired book boyfriends:

I am one of those fangirls who labels their favorite characters as “book boyfriends.” It’s bizarre, I know, but these are the boys I swoon over. Note: they tend to be broken and tortured.

  • Warner – Unravel Me – *still frothing from mouth*
  • Kaz Brekker – Six of Crows – Anyone who can unflinchingly cut out someone’s eye and stuff a handkerchief in their socket is a winner with me. So dreamy.

This Month’s Haul:


I may have gone a little overboard. But next month I will be attending quite a few author signings. Unfortunately, I haven’t read most of those authors’ books, so I’m scrambling this month to collect them (Okay, so only 4 of these will be signed, but shaddup).

Did you read anything notable this month?


My August Reads

Dying of heat frustration in Orlando this month really slowed my reading progress. So far I’ve only read 54 books this year. I’ll never make it to 100 at this rate!

What I Read in August:


Sisters Red – Jackson Pearce

Scarlett March obsesses with hunting down Fenris–werewolves that killed her grandmother when she was a child. Her younger sister Rosie struggles with her duty to help Scarlett and her desire for a normal teenage life. 

I really wanted to like this book. I met the author at a book signing and she was really funny and sweet. I love the cover and the fact that it’s a Red Riding Hood retelling, but the plot and the writing didn’t draw me in. I didn’t care that there were wolves in sexy man-skins devouring beautiful girls. Go ahead and eat them, I say! It’s no skin off my nose.

As I do not have a sister and have never wanted one, I am not inclined to enjoy stories about sisterly relationships (which is funny ’cause I sorta wrote one). They don’t interest me, which is probably why I don’t care much for Frozen.

Yeah, I said it.

Sold – Patricia McCormick

Lakshmi, a thirteen-year-old Nepali girl, is sold into prostitution by her step-father. Trapped in a brothel in India, she makes unlikely friends while struggling to buy her freedom back.

I CANNOT begin to describe how angry this book makes me. The horrifying treatment of these children and the culture’s views toward women is enough to make me scream. For example, Lakshmi’s mother tells her that when she has a husband, she must let him eat first and then eat his leftovers. And when she is done washing his feet, she should drink some of the water.

I mean, how backwards can you be?

The story is written in verse, which I normally despise, but McCormick’s style didn’t bother me. I could read it as I would a normal book.

It’ll piss you off, but you should probably check this book out.

Beauty – Robin McKinley 

After her father’s business goes under (literally, all his ships sink), Beauty and her family move to the forest, where there are tales of an enchanted castle inhabited by a wicked Beast.

I liked this Beauty and the Beast retelling, but I didn’t love it. Published in 1978, it had an old school charm and I enjoyed McKinley’s writing style, but I felt like the story could’ve started much later than it did. I wanted to spend more time with the Beast in his castle. Beauty doesn’t even arrive there until nearly halfway through the story. I also wished the Beast was more of a dick, but you can’t have everything.

As obsessed as I am with Beauty and the Beast retellings, I’ve never actually read the original. I should probably get on that…



Liars, Inc. – Paula Stokes 

Max Cantrell, surfer boy and slacker extraordinaire, runs a business called Liars, Inc. His classmates pay for anything from forged signatures to test answers. But when he’s framed for the murder of his best friend, Max has to find the killer in order to clear his name.

Oh what a tangled web we weave. Liar’s, Inc. is a gritty, fast-paced mystery along the lines of Barry Lyga’s I Hunt Killers. And if you haven’t read I Hunt Killers yet, go forth, my child, and read it. You must.

Like, seriously don’t even bother with this book until you’ve read Lyga’s trilogy. It’s delicious.



Shatter Me – Tahereh Mafi

Juliette’s touch kills. After nearly a year of being locked up in isolation by The Reestablishment for murder, a young officer releases her to be used as his weapon.

This book is overwritten. No, seriously, this book is overwritten. Weird similes, ongoing metaphors, repetitive sentences. Mafi is an incredibly creative writer, but it’s just too much too much too much. HOWEVER! I loved the main bad guy. I thoroughly enjoyed the story line. He’s so freaking sexy and evil. It’s a fast-paced dystopian. I have serious issues issues issues. As Juliette begins to regain some of her sanity, the taxing strike-through sentences and repetitiveness become less abundant. It was a good read and I’m excited for the next book.

This Month’s Haul:


WP_20160831_19_57_30_Pro (2)

(There’s a reason I didn’t go into photography…)

What have you read/bought this month?


The Father-To-Be

I wake one morning aware that I had a weird dream, but unable to recall what it was. I don’t bother trying to scour my brain for it because I am exhausted and need to get ready for work.

But as I stand in the shower sudsing my belly, it all comes rushing back.

I had impregnated my boyfriend.

Or, at least, we assume so because he has a huge belly. Not his normal, Just-Eaten-a-Brontosaurus-Burger belly, but a fairly large protrusion.

We are flummoxed, to say the least.

He tells me he’s ready to deliver. I grab an armful of bathroom towels as he lays on the kitchen table. My thoughts are racing. I worry the baby will come out looking like a malformed potato. But I declare I’ll love it anyway. I guess.

We wonder how on earth we’re going to get this baby out.

“Lemme grab your X-acto knife,” I say.

He pales but doesn’t protest. Pushing does not sound like a better alternative.

At this point, I begin to wonder if he is, in fact, due. Because, really, though his stomach is large, he isn’t that far along. Perhaps this is just a false alarm. Perhaps the little misshapen spud isn’t done baking.

Or maybe, just maybe, this isn’t a baby.

Maybe this is a tumor.

A cancerous tumor the size of a small baby. In his stomach.

This is unfortunately more likely, and I become disappointed. I wanted a child. One that didn’t have to give birth to. I wanted to enjoy my own spawn, but not actually have to do any of the work.

I wanted to be a father.

The dream ends with me saying to him, “You should probably go see a doctor about that.”


The Literary Young Adult Box – Beth Revis Edition

WP_20160726_22_03_53_ProI’ve done a bad thing. After going on about trying to cut back on books, I subscribed (again) to a curated package from Quarterly. Last year I subscribed to Book Riot’s Literary Box. I unsubscribed because I wasn’t always happy with what I received. The books were either meh (of what I’ve read, anyway) or I never really had a use for a lot of the items, even though they were usually pretty cute. I mostly enjoyed the excitement of opening a mystery package.

Book Riot opted out of the Quarterly subscriptions anyway, having started their own similar boxes through their website. But then Quarterly introduced one specifically for a YA audience that is curated by actual YA writers.

This month was Beth Revis, who I’ve heard good things of. I own her book Across the Universe, but haven’t read it yet (story of my life).

What’s Inside:

  • An annotated version of A World Without You by Beth Revis.
  • Belzhar by Meg Wolitzer
  • The End or Something Like That by Ann Dee Ellis
  • An Emily Dickinson Quotable Notables Blank Card
  • A photo holder – Essentially it’s a red wire that you clip pictures to using magnets. She chose it because it ties into her story, which I thought was kinda cool.

Overall, I’m excited about the books. The two that weren’t written by her I wouldn’t normally pick up. I hadn’t even heard of them, so it’s nice to branch out. I hate poetry, especially Emily Dickinson, and I don’t write to people, so I doubt I’d get any use out of the card. And the photo holder…I don’t generally take pictures of anything besides books, and it would be silly to hang pictures of my books next to my bookshelves.

Or would it? Hmm.

Depending on the next author, I’ll probably keep my subscription.

Have you ever subscribed to anything like this? What are your thoughts? Am I wasting my money?


July In Review

I’m trying to enjoy my last few days before I head out on Sunday to Orlando, where I will, with certainty, die of heat frustration. I do not do well in warm temperatures, especially when it’s humid. I have an internal thermometer and when it gets too high, well, things get messy.

I didn’t get as much read this month as I would’ve liked. I started quite a few books (Rick Riordan’s The Red Pyramid, Garth Nix’s Sabriel, among others) that I just couldn’t get through. I’ve put them on hold for now, which is something I hate to do. I usually try to push through all books, but life is too short to read something I’m not in the mood to read, ya know?

What I Read in July:


A Gathering of Shadows – V.E. Schwab

I neeeeed the last book. I need it noooooow.

This is a phenomenal trilogy (A Gathering of Shadows being book two). I love the different Londons, the rich and fully developed characters, the magic system, the covers. Everything. I love it all. I also recommend following Schwab on Twitter because she’s funny and she reveals bits of her writing process. She also recently shared a pic of a body pillow of the MC Kell, and I neeeeed it with all my being (ok, I should stop. I’m starting to sound like a two-year-old).

The Way I Used To Be – Amber Smith

This book evokes a lot of emotion, as all rape stories will. You know why the main character does what she does, but you just want to squirt her with a water bottle and tell her to stop and, for the love of God, please just say something. Speak up. The book is well worth the anger and frustration though. It’s an important read, especially since hers is an all-too-common story. Very heartbreaking.

The Spiderwick Chronicles – Holly Black, Tony DiTerlizzi

I read all five books in the span of a few hours (Yeah, it’s MG, but shaddup, I’m a slow reader so I’m proud of myself ok?). I was surprised by how dark it got at times (sprites being drowned in vats of honey, tadpoles frozen into individual ice cubes), but that only made the story more fun. I definitely would recommend this to any young reader. I wish I would’ve read it as a kid, but still, it didn’t lose any of its magic reading it as a sort-of adult.

The Night Circus – Erin Morgenstern

I was not expecting third person present tense. I’ve read few books set in that tense. Also, there was some second person mixed in which I quite enjoyed. The Night Circus is an incredibly vivid novel that needs to be made into a movie. Not because of the plot, but because the visuals would be absolutely breathtaking to see.

Nail Your Novel: Why Writers Abandon Books and How You Can Draft, Fix and Finish with Confidence – Roz Morris

I read this book while I was doing Camp Nanowrimo and it gave me the motivation to keep going and made me ask myself questions about my story I hadn’t asked before. I got it for only .99 cents on Amazon. Money well spent.

Vicious – V.E. Schwab

Yes, another Schwab book. While I’m waiting for the next ADSOM book to come out in February (I am totally stoked for the dead of winter), I thought I’d take a look at her other books. This did not disappoint. I don’t think there’s another word to describe this story besides “vicious.” Talk about your anti-heroes.

Again, as if it has to be said, Schwab is fast becoming one of my favorite authors. READ HER!

You Are A Writer (So Start Acting Like One) – Jeff Goins

Since this isn’t (and wasn’t meant to be) a detailed book, I would recommend this to beginners or those who self-doubt themselves as writers (which I often do). This book relies heavily on the author’s experience in becoming published. It doesn’t get into the nitty gritty techniques, which is more what I’m looking for. It was only .99 cents on Amazon, so I’m not disappointed that I bought it. I’m just glad I didn’t pay more.

This Month’s Haul:


Go ahead. Say it. I have a problem.

What books did you read/buy this month?


Bystander Effect

I pay my mechanic in beer and food. He’s my uncle, so I can do that. I laugh in the face of those who pay abhorrent amounts of money just to keep their cars running.

This past Saturday, my uncle worked on my Jeep. He replaced the brakes and did an oil change. Pretty routine maintenance. I drove the car back home. No problems. Smooth sailing–except for the other car facing the opposite direction on the road. Mangled. Smoking. People trying to fight the deployed airbags to get to the passengers inside.

I slowed down, of course, because accidents are spectator sports in Minnesota. The thought of stopping briefly entered my mind. In that moment, I pictured myself rushing over, peeling the door off the car, and dragging out the driver–probably a sexy young fellow who would profess his love for me and I’d have to bat him away, saying, “Why, sir, I’m already taken.”

Then reality set in and I hit the gas pedal. It was a Ford Focus. That is not a sexy man’s car.

So yes, I admit it. I suffer from the bystander effect. There are people far more competent than myself in the world. People who adult so much better than me. I would be more of a hindrance in that type of situation. And I had the safety of my puppy to think about. My little Wulfie-chan.

Who was staring at me as we drove by. With as much judgement a Chihuahua/Pomeranian can muster.

They were fiiine, I’m sure of it.

Just like all the other lost souls I’ve turned my back on over the years.

As if I wasn’t already feeling crappy about myself, later that evening, as I was about to head out to grab dinner to feed my mechanic, my remote start failed on me. So I thought, how did my uncle eff up my truck now? Because it had to be his fault. When I went out to start the car-actually had to walk outside, the horror-the dashboard lit up, but it wouldn’t start no matter how many times I turned the key.

I stomped back into the house, yelling at the top of my lungs, “No dinner for you! You no fix car, no food!” with a stereotypically Asian accent because apparently when I get Vietnamese take-out, I become a raging politically incorrect dickbag.

My uncle took the keys, walked to the truck…and put it in park.

Ohh yeah. Trucks don’t start when they’re in drive.

There’s a reason why my uncle is a master mechanic.

Question: Does anyone know why Jeeps are able to freaking turn off without being in park? Can someone explain this to me? After hearing about Anton Yelchin tragically being crushed by his truck, I now double and redouble check to make sure I’ve put it in park.

Also: Mind-boggling article on bystanders in India.